Dreams

Dreams... they say dreams are the windows to your most inner desires. They say dreams are the messages God delivers to us. And, there's this one particular dream that I can't really forget. No matter what I do, no matter what I am/was doing, my thoughts drift off to that dream again.

I can't remember the exact date, but it somewhere in the 'ber' months back in 2009. I was getting ready to sleep around 9:00pm, since I had school the next day. The lights flickered off and my brother and mother started saying their prayer before sleeping.

"Dear Jesus, Thank you for the nice house, good food and a happy school...."

It always starts, after that, I completely forget what my brother tries to say. And at that particular night, I decided to pray my own prayer, instead of listening to my sibling's. Finally finishing, I grab on to my favorite Hello Kitty pillow and close my eyes. I slowly drift off to sleep, not knowing what the Lord had in store for me.

I seemingly opened my eyes, seeing that I was in an arcade. With the games around and noises, I recognized it easily. It must have been around 6:00pm around that time, since I saw that outside, the sky was turning darker and darker as every moment passed. And then... he appeared. At first, I didn't really know who he was, but my mouth moved on it's own. "Arthur!" I called out. And when I heard it, I promised not to forget it anymore. The boy turned around, finally revealing his face. He was white, with squinty eyes and black-ebony hair which reached up to his chin. He was obviously Asian. He had glasses and he was wearing a jacket. He was with a friend of his, a boy. He smiled at me and started walking toward me. He took my hand, and then, it just faded there.

After a bit, another image began to fade back in. I was in a house... it looked Japanse or something, I can't really tell. I guess I was older, seeing I had long hair then, and that, I seem to grew taller. Then, I saw him again, now, his hair was shorter, he looked like he was in his late 20's. He smiled at me and I realized, he had a ring in his hand. He reached out to me again and took my hand.

My finger had a ring as well.

And after that, my mom had to wake me up which was around 5:30am, to do the daily routine to get ready for school. But, I didn't want to sit up yet. I stayed in my bed for 5 more minutes, promising to myself never to forget that dream or the name. And until now, it still remains in me, still fresh in my memory. His distinct features and everything. Since that day, I became 'in love' with someone that had only appeared in my dreams.

If you heard the song "Falling Slowly" by The Swell Season, you must know the first lines "I don't know you, but I want you" fir perfectly here. As of now, I'm still in love with that person, and I won't really stop. Who knows, maybe I'll meet that person when the time comes, hm? Maybe I'll magically turn into Cinderella by then and get swept off my feet by my Romeo.

First things first...

First Blog Post in this site, beautiful.

How do I start things off? Hm... I'm not really who you think I am. Do you think my words are cold? They're just words. Words are but illusions so that you can hide the truth. Words are but things we use to understand each other verbally. But have you realized even without words, you can understand a person? See. Illusions I tell you. I don't really make sense, now do I? I don't have to, as long as you understand the message I want to get through you, you'll be fine. You'll survive in this blog.

Moving on, this isn't really the first blog I've had, more likely to be the second one. Though, my other one is in livejournal, but, it's not really much of a blog at all. More like a 'fanfiction' archive of mine. And yes, my name there is also tagasaing if you must ask.

Well, enough of that, I'll tell you more about myself, personality in other words.

I'm not the friendliest person you'd meet really. I start off cold to most people, well.. anyone I don't really know. But, sometimes I get the intuition that a certain person is good, or easy to get along with. But I try not to rely on it that much, who knows what it might get me into. I don't want to endanger my life, yes?

I'm not sarcastic, funny or anything much really. Just a plain ol' girl, trying to catch up with the new 'in' in life. I'm trying to catch up with the things my friends or colleagues discover. But through it all, I'm just simply trying to be myself, hm?

Well, since I'm too lazy to actually type other things, let's move in quickly to other things, yes?

First, why tagasaing, you may ask. Yes, I'm Filipino. I won't say I'm proud to be one, I think you know that already. Okay, so on with the real question. Why. Why? Well, part of it, it's lack of imagination, latter part, it's about the Filipino Families. At least one or two people of each Filipino family knows how to cook rice or "magsaing". It's an essential "life skill" that one needs to learn in the family, if I may add. And for one, to be a "tagasaing" is pretty much common. Simple, just trying to be yourself, not ashamed of what or who you are. And that my friend, is what I want to be. So that pretty much sums it up. I won't dive in further, I don't want to strain your eyes.

Secondly, the title of my blog. No, it's not inspired by Taylor Swift's song "White Horse", but a good friend of mine. You see, us humans have the tendency to fall in love or the state of 'loving' someone in that 'special way'. And me, being the human I am, fell in love. Many times now actually. And then just a month ago, I experienced the so-called 'heart break' which I'm used to now. But, I can't help but feel hurt, who can, hm?

So, I ask some help (well... not really) from a friend. This person has been a friend of mine for many years now, so I'm not really surprised if she notices the way my atmosphere changed. So, she keeps on babbling about "There are many fish in the sea", but I'll counter her with a "But I want that fish!" jokingly. Then, one of her lines hit me. "You're not a princess, darling. You're [insert my name here], the girl who's..." And goes on with the mushy stuff. And without really listening to anything else she kept on saying, I realized that she's right. I'm not a princess, so... that person is not my prince. I have to stop falling for something that's but a mere fairytale. And after that, we decided to go to Jollibee and laugh to our heart's content. So, I hope that answers your question.

Well, there's nothing to talk about anymore, but if you really want to, you can go read my future blogs. Feel free to express what you want to say, go comment as much as you like. Whether you didn't like it or you did, I appreciate the time that you've given to read this. See you again, my friend.